Monday, April 04, 2011
The result of too much WordWorld
Taking a walk up Bukit Timah Hill. J: Look Mama! Big spiderweb! All of us walking nearer and J crouching down for a closer look. J: Why is there no "W. E. B" on the web?? LOL Well, at least the little one's getting his spelling right
It's been a while....
So it's been a while....and as the saying goes, time heals all. Well, at least we feel normal and life goes on. I still hate it when someone tells us to try again. Don't, ok?
Monday, October 04, 2010
Baby J
Baby J was a brief chapter in our life. Too brief and gone so soon. Only a little bit more than 7 weeks old. Too small for anyone to know if we had a boy or girl.
Baby J wasn't exactly planned. According to my calender, he wasn't supposed to happen, but happened he did. It took me a while to accept it. I wasn't prepared for another baby. I wasn't prepared for 9 months of pregnancy, 2 years of insufficient sleep and 1.5 yrs of breastfeeding. But I looked at Jarrett and knew if Baby J was a gift from God, then surely, Jarrett deserved this more than anyone else. He should have a playmate. So after many days of procrastination, I accepted that I was going to be a mother again.
I did the SOP, visited my OB, took my multivits, and did a blood test to confirm my pregnancy. The doc called on the 2nd day with the good news but ended it with a warning - Ectopic Pregnancy.
Apparently my hormones level was way low for a pregnant mum. But I didn't paid much heed to it, thinking it's just my KS doc on paranoia.
Week 6, days before our family holiday to Phuket, that's usually when a baby heartbeat can be seen and heard. But there was nothing on Baby J. Doc couldn't find any sign of the baby. I was sent to do another more detailed scan. Again, no sign of anything after close to 45mins of probing. The radiologist was called in and finally a sac was detected. After a few questions, like "any bleeding? any pain?" and much frowning, I was a nervous wreak.
My doc later explained that the presence of a sac did not rule out the possibility of ectopic pregnancy, sometimes it acts like a decoy. Especially so in my case as they couldn't detect any heartbeat and the size of the sac was too small. Another possibility could be a missed abortion or a threaten miscarriage. Either way, the doc was against the idea of a holiday. He didn't want me to go for fear of a rapture or a miscarriage with excessive bleeding. Ordered to have bed rest and do nothing else. Took me some time to convince everyone that I was okay and fit to go and that a trip would serve me better than staying alone at home with my thoughts running wild. On a rational side, I knew it would have been wiser to stay home, with medical help close by, but knowing how restless I am, I knew I would go crazy at home and probably gone all depressed.
Doc reluctantly agreed but I was not allowed to go out of the resort and prescribed lots of bed rest.
The resort was lovely, albeit some screw ups. I spent many hours looking out of the windows in my room.
Baby J wasn't exactly planned. According to my calender, he wasn't supposed to happen, but happened he did. It took me a while to accept it. I wasn't prepared for another baby. I wasn't prepared for 9 months of pregnancy, 2 years of insufficient sleep and 1.5 yrs of breastfeeding. But I looked at Jarrett and knew if Baby J was a gift from God, then surely, Jarrett deserved this more than anyone else. He should have a playmate. So after many days of procrastination, I accepted that I was going to be a mother again.
I did the SOP, visited my OB, took my multivits, and did a blood test to confirm my pregnancy. The doc called on the 2nd day with the good news but ended it with a warning - Ectopic Pregnancy.
Apparently my hormones level was way low for a pregnant mum. But I didn't paid much heed to it, thinking it's just my KS doc on paranoia.
Week 6, days before our family holiday to Phuket, that's usually when a baby heartbeat can be seen and heard. But there was nothing on Baby J. Doc couldn't find any sign of the baby. I was sent to do another more detailed scan. Again, no sign of anything after close to 45mins of probing. The radiologist was called in and finally a sac was detected. After a few questions, like "any bleeding? any pain?" and much frowning, I was a nervous wreak.
My doc later explained that the presence of a sac did not rule out the possibility of ectopic pregnancy, sometimes it acts like a decoy. Especially so in my case as they couldn't detect any heartbeat and the size of the sac was too small. Another possibility could be a missed abortion or a threaten miscarriage. Either way, the doc was against the idea of a holiday. He didn't want me to go for fear of a rapture or a miscarriage with excessive bleeding. Ordered to have bed rest and do nothing else. Took me some time to convince everyone that I was okay and fit to go and that a trip would serve me better than staying alone at home with my thoughts running wild. On a rational side, I knew it would have been wiser to stay home, with medical help close by, but knowing how restless I am, I knew I would go crazy at home and probably gone all depressed.
Doc reluctantly agreed but I was not allowed to go out of the resort and prescribed lots of bed rest.
The resort was lovely, albeit some screw ups. I spent many hours looking out of the windows in my room.
Beautiful scenery but I kept thinking of the poor little babe and felt so depressed at one point, feeling like I was just lying down, waiting for my baby to leave. Somewhere along the way, maternal instincts had kicked in and so did a woman's instinct. And somewhere inside of me, I knew that my time with this baby was coming to an end. Some of the symptoms of the pregnancy had stopped, though I was still so exhausted and lethargic all the time. Spotting again in fresh red with cramps, nothing looked good. I thought I had to take an emergency flight home, but I managed to make it home safely as scheduled.
Week 7, day 3. Another detailed scan. Sac has not grown any bigger and still no heartbeat. Doc was all grim face when he delivered the news. Things looked quite final as he said a week ago that if by the end of another week there was still no sign of growth or life, then this baby was destined to go. Doc offered to wait another few days but from his expression and explanation, it seem quite pointless. It broke my heart, it really did when we made the decision to go ahead with the surgery. I felt guilty, like I was giving up on my own child and it broke my heart to send him/her off without a proper baptism.
I once read a book "Heaven is so real", by a Korean-American who was offered a glimpse of heaven. In it, she wrote that she saw a huge room full of babies and she asked God "Why are there so many babies?" "These are babies of mothers who did not want them. I will keep their babies!" the Lord answered.
I did not want Baby J to end up in this room. I wanted him to know that however brief our time was, he/she was loved by us. I spent some time in the morning before surgery in prayer, asking God to take my child in His hands and also His forgiveness for the anger I felt. My doc kindly offered to say a prayer for Baby J as well.
On the morning of 2nd Oct 2010, our journey with Baby J came to an end. It was a simple procedure and took less than 30mins. The nurses and docs were all very kind and sympathetic. It was a painful experience. Even thou Baby J wasn't planned, it was still so painful to let go. I was shown the "product" when I woke up in the recovery room and I managed to say a short little prayer as I held on to the little plastic bottle. It was whisked off to the lab before I could say another word.
A friend said things like this will change a person forever. Maybe he is right.
~ Baby Jae Ng ~
Sent to Heaven with lots of love from
Papa, Mama & Gor Gor Jarrett.
2 October 2010
Quotations from Heaven Is So Real by Choo Thomas.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Very.....happening week
I turned on the laptop, expecting to write a post or 2 about what happened this week but nothing came out sounding right, so I had to delete everything.............away.
So instead of a really nice write up, this is the summary:
1) Started the week feeling really excited cos there was a hot party planned on Friday, for 2 of my closest gfs who are getting married soon. I was supposed to be a mamasan!
2) Dreading the 1st 4 days of the week, cos of cashier duty at the co's warehouse sales.
3) Turned out, only 2.5 days of duty.
4) Because......after years of no fever, I suddenly had a really high 38.9 burning fever, which lasted for 2 freaking days.
5) On the day of the party, still with a tiny hope that I could recover in time, I visted the doctor for an A-OK.
6) Doc took one look at me and said "Sorry girl, no hens' nite, u've got the HMFD" !!???!!!!????!!! Helllo.......I'm like ancient, do pple like me end up with HMFD?
7) Went home sulking though I have 10 days MC and realised this also means 10 days with no Jarrett since I have to be quarantine. damn!
8) Was shown live pictures on facebook about the party. (feeling real great while I sat in my pyjamas, scratching my hands)
9) Realised I could be pregnant!!!???!!! after ingesting all the meds and high fever.
What a bloody week!
So instead of a really nice write up, this is the summary:
1) Started the week feeling really excited cos there was a hot party planned on Friday, for 2 of my closest gfs who are getting married soon. I was supposed to be a mamasan!
2) Dreading the 1st 4 days of the week, cos of cashier duty at the co's warehouse sales.
3) Turned out, only 2.5 days of duty.
4) Because......after years of no fever, I suddenly had a really high 38.9 burning fever, which lasted for 2 freaking days.
5) On the day of the party, still with a tiny hope that I could recover in time, I visted the doctor for an A-OK.
6) Doc took one look at me and said "Sorry girl, no hens' nite, u've got the HMFD" !!???!!!!????!!! Helllo.......I'm like ancient, do pple like me end up with HMFD?
7) Went home sulking though I have 10 days MC and realised this also means 10 days with no Jarrett since I have to be quarantine. damn!
8) Was shown live pictures on facebook about the party. (feeling real great while I sat in my pyjamas, scratching my hands)
9) Realised I could be pregnant!!!???!!! after ingesting all the meds and high fever.
What a bloody week!
Friday, July 02, 2010
my ABC
Jarrett reciting his ABC....
J: A for Ant
J: B for Banana
WX & I: Good job Jarrett!!
J:C for Crocodile
Wx & I: (thinking wow..so smart, used to be A for Apple, B for Boy, C for Cat)
J:D for Dick
WX & Me: Err................................
We swear we are always very careful of what we say when we are around J, no idea where he pick this up from.
J: A for Ant
J: B for Banana
WX & I: Good job Jarrett!!
J:C for Crocodile
Wx & I: (thinking wow..so smart, used to be A for Apple, B for Boy, C for Cat)
J:D for Dick
WX & Me: Err................................
We swear we are always very careful of what we say when we are around J, no idea where he pick this up from.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Meet the Parents' Day
We attended our 2nd Meet the Parents' Day at J's school on Thurs. Seems like the little one has been doing very well in most aspects. We are very pleased with his progress thus far and the teachers seem very impressed with his development too. So it was a happy meeting, everyone was all smiles. Us smiling like idiots with so....much pride, and the teachers no doubt smiling with pride too, pleased with their nurturing skills. Haa...
In the report we were given:
1) J is the only one who can write in class, despite the fact that he's the youngest.
Awww.....we are so...........proud.
2) J's in the advanced stage of reading. Only 3 children in the class can read, as in they can recognize words and read books by themselves. Most of the other children requires much more assistance. The other 2 boys are the oldest in the group. So J's reading skill is really not too bad.
3) J is very bossy. He likes to hang out with the girls and boss them around. According to the teachers, it's quite likely bcos he's the youngest boy and the older boys will talk back to him when he gives his orders. So he has learnt to hang out with those who will listen and look up to him. (Hahahahaa.....)
4) Loves to eat......he is quite possibly, the easiest kid to feed in school.
5) Very impatient with his food.
6) Loves his Speech & Drama class, and is showing quite abit of potential. His form teacher has taken a video clip of him for a commercial audition.
7) Very helpful, to the point of pissing off his friends. There was once where they were all asked to bring their favourite fruits to school. J named most of the fruits before the children can do their "presentations". One of the girls got so upset that she burst into tears...oooppsss..
8) Listen and follow instructions very well. ( I think this special skill is reserved for school. We usually have a hard........time screaming at him to follow our instructions. )
9) Can do his work very well without much supervision. He usually finishes his work much faster than the other children and........end up doing his friends' worksheets.
10) Knows how to pacify his teachers when they are upset with him. He'll strike his signature pose (fingers pointed at his cheeks with a wide smile) or he'll start singing and dancing. The principal said she just can't stay angry with J for long.
11) Gets along very well with all the children. He has quite a few good friends among the older children. Some of them takes good care of him.
So it's been a fruitful 9 months. J has learnt much and seems to be well loved.
We'll post some of the pics the teachers have given us soon.
In the report we were given:
1) J is the only one who can write in class, despite the fact that he's the youngest.
Awww.....we are so...........proud.
2) J's in the advanced stage of reading. Only 3 children in the class can read, as in they can recognize words and read books by themselves. Most of the other children requires much more assistance. The other 2 boys are the oldest in the group. So J's reading skill is really not too bad.
3) J is very bossy. He likes to hang out with the girls and boss them around. According to the teachers, it's quite likely bcos he's the youngest boy and the older boys will talk back to him when he gives his orders. So he has learnt to hang out with those who will listen and look up to him. (Hahahahaa.....)
4) Loves to eat......he is quite possibly, the easiest kid to feed in school.
5) Very impatient with his food.
6) Loves his Speech & Drama class, and is showing quite abit of potential. His form teacher has taken a video clip of him for a commercial audition.
7) Very helpful, to the point of pissing off his friends. There was once where they were all asked to bring their favourite fruits to school. J named most of the fruits before the children can do their "presentations". One of the girls got so upset that she burst into tears...oooppsss..
8) Listen and follow instructions very well. ( I think this special skill is reserved for school. We usually have a hard........time screaming at him to follow our instructions. )
9) Can do his work very well without much supervision. He usually finishes his work much faster than the other children and........end up doing his friends' worksheets.
10) Knows how to pacify his teachers when they are upset with him. He'll strike his signature pose (fingers pointed at his cheeks with a wide smile) or he'll start singing and dancing. The principal said she just can't stay angry with J for long.
11) Gets along very well with all the children. He has quite a few good friends among the older children. Some of them takes good care of him.
So it's been a fruitful 9 months. J has learnt much and seems to be well loved.
We'll post some of the pics the teachers have given us soon.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
to the doc
Mama: Jarrett, mama's not feeling well.
J: Mama go see Dr. Yap
Mama: Can you bring me to see Dr. Yap?
J: Ok. I drive the car.
J: Mama go see Dr. Yap
Mama: Can you bring me to see Dr. Yap?
J: Ok. I drive the car.
Monday, April 19, 2010
my little grown up boy
Mama: J, do you want to join Papa and Mama for dinner tomorrow?
J: Ya, Sure!
Mama & Papa: ..........................................
J: Ya, Sure!
Mama & Papa: ..........................................
Sunday, March 28, 2010
It's a food day
Busy day eating. First stop dim sum at Oriental Mandrain, followed by ice cream at Marina Sq. Little J was most happy with the treats.Sunday, March 14, 2010
Friday, March 05, 2010
my blood
I was sitting in the car with Jarrett in his car seat, waiting for Wx. Took out my wallet and pull out some notes.
J: That's money!
Me: Yes, that's right.
J: Jarrett takes some money.
Me: Why do you want some money?
J: I want to buy bag!
At 2yrs, he's showing very positive sign of sharing my obsession with bags.
J: That's money!
Me: Yes, that's right.
J: Jarrett takes some money.
Me: Why do you want some money?
J: I want to buy bag!
At 2yrs, he's showing very positive sign of sharing my obsession with bags.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Baby can read & write!
At 25mths, Jarrett is able to write, unassisted, numbers 1, 2, 3, 4 and alphabets E, F, L (O not counted right?).
He's also able to read a few books by himself. I have no idea how many but his teacher was telling me she's running out of books for J. He's also able to recongnize and count big numbers, his favourites being the 30s series...dunno why.
I have not consulted my parenting books, so I have no idea if this is the norm (probably is, after seeing some of the kids in his class) according to the age development but I am fairly bursting with pride. LOL. My little baby is growing up!
He's also able to read a few books by himself. I have no idea how many but his teacher was telling me she's running out of books for J. He's also able to recongnize and count big numbers, his favourites being the 30s series...dunno why.
I have not consulted my parenting books, so I have no idea if this is the norm (probably is, after seeing some of the kids in his class) according to the age development but I am fairly bursting with pride. LOL. My little baby is growing up!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Jarrett and his little friend
Jarrett sitting on the toilet, looking between his legs, trying to pee.
Papa: Are you done?
J: It's not working!
LOL!
Papa: Are you done?
J: It's not working!
LOL!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Birthday dinner with grandparents - Part 2
Maternal aunties and uncles were away on a holiday in Japan, so only the grandparents with his 2 uncles. 
Fighting to cut his cake.
Finally got to cut his cake.Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Cheeky Jarrett at 2
Scene 1: Mama really really angry with J.
Mama sitting on the bed, Jarrett standing in his cot facing Mama.
He started combing my hair with his fingers and.......
J: Wow! Mama so pretty!
How to stay angry with this kid?
Scene 2: On the road, heavy traffic. Mama doing a turn.
J: Mama...........be careful!
Awww.............
Scene 3: Eating breakfast - Oatmeal with banana.
J: Good morning banana! Banana go take MRT
His fascination and obsession with the MRT.
Scene 4: Reading a book about a boy named Micheal who is learning how to use the potty.
J: Micheal, where is poo poo? (page 1)
flipped a page
J: Micheal, where is poo poo? (page 2)
flipped another page
J: Micheal, where is poo poo (page 3)
and the same thing for the all the other pages
J: Micheal, where is poo poo (last page)
J: The End!
LOL, he just rewrote the whole book.
Scene 5: Fresh from the shower, papa trying to wrap him up in towel.
Papa: Ok, u want to be Alibaba (wrap head) or Sexy Baby (tube dress style)?
J: SEXY BABY!
Mama sitting on the bed, Jarrett standing in his cot facing Mama.
He started combing my hair with his fingers and.......
J: Wow! Mama so pretty!
How to stay angry with this kid?
Scene 2: On the road, heavy traffic. Mama doing a turn.
J: Mama...........be careful!
Awww.............
Scene 3: Eating breakfast - Oatmeal with banana.
J: Good morning banana! Banana go take MRT
His fascination and obsession with the MRT.
Scene 4: Reading a book about a boy named Micheal who is learning how to use the potty.
J: Micheal, where is poo poo? (page 1)
flipped a page
J: Micheal, where is poo poo? (page 2)
flipped another page
J: Micheal, where is poo poo (page 3)
and the same thing for the all the other pages
J: Micheal, where is poo poo (last page)
J: The End!
LOL, he just rewrote the whole book.
Scene 5: Fresh from the shower, papa trying to wrap him up in towel.
Papa: Ok, u want to be Alibaba (wrap head) or Sexy Baby (tube dress style)?
J: SEXY BABY!
Monday, January 04, 2010
2nd birthday - part 1.5
No party on his actual birthday due to the illness, so we tried to make it up with birthday presents.
Opening the present from mummy
Waiting for the train to go thru the tunnel
So happy the train's finally here
Again!
and again!
and again!
and again...on another night. the train has since expaned to multi-levels, multi tunnels, with bridge etc.
Opening the present from mummy
Waiting for the train to go thru the tunnel
So happy the train's finally here
Again!
and again!
and again!
and again...on another night. the train has since expaned to multi-levels, multi tunnels, with bridge etc. the boy's in heaven playing Gorzilla!
the boy turned 2 - Part 1
Celebration at maternal grandparents' place with his loving great grandma, grandpa, grandma, uncles, aunties and cousins.J turned 2 on the 16th Dec. Poor little boy was sick for more than a week and so his birthday plans were all disrupted. The party in school was delayed for 2 days, dinner with grandparents delayed 1 night. But overall, it was fun. He had 3 cakes this year! 2 small and 1 big cakes. So happy...got to eat his favourite food so many times in a week.
Monday, December 21, 2009
thomas goes to bed
Scene: 11pm, in the living room, playing with his new train set.
Mama: Jarrett, the train is tired.
J: Thomas is coming! Choo choo...................................... (jumping up and down)
Mama: Thomas is tired and he wants to sleep
J stood quietly and watched the train
Mama: Let the train sleep ok?
After 5 seconds
J: Bye bye thomas. Thomas go sleep (we r still working on the grammer)
he bended down and picked up the train and walked into the bedroom.
He then attempted to put/throw the train onto the bed, but failed.
J: Mama.....Thomas sleep (tugging at my hand)
Mama: Ok......
I took the train from him and put it on the bed. He went over and patted Thomas a few times.
J: Sleep.
and bounced off to the living room.
Awww....heart melted.
Mama: Jarrett, the train is tired.
J: Thomas is coming! Choo choo...................................... (jumping up and down)
Mama: Thomas is tired and he wants to sleep
J stood quietly and watched the train
Mama: Let the train sleep ok?
After 5 seconds
J: Bye bye thomas. Thomas go sleep (we r still working on the grammer)
he bended down and picked up the train and walked into the bedroom.
He then attempted to put/throw the train onto the bed, but failed.
J: Mama.....Thomas sleep (tugging at my hand)
Mama: Ok......
I took the train from him and put it on the bed. He went over and patted Thomas a few times.
J: Sleep.
and bounced off to the living room.
Awww....heart melted.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Jarrett turns 2 today!
The little one turns 2 today. This morning at the time he was born 2 years ago, he woke up to a burning fever and was force fed his medicine. Pook kid. He's been sick for the past few days. We made plans for a celebration in school, and dinner with family but all these will have to wait.
till then.......
till then.......
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