my little koala bear

a few weeks ago, J tried all sorts of tricks to sleep in our bed. Nothing worked until he said he wanted to try sleeping on me. so the little chap squeeze himself into bed, used my tummy as a pillow and my thigh as a bolster. The funny thing was, he really fell asleep hugging my leg!

Superheros spotted!

window shopping in Vivo and guess who I "found"?

3 more days...to J's Primary 1 Registration

Education is serious business in Singapore. This is the country where parents are capable of all sorts of "tricks" to get their children into reputable or popular schools. This is also the country where parents have to do volunteer work, to get a chance to ballot for a vacancy in their preferred school. In recent 1-2 years, it has gotten so bad, that even brand new schools with no established reputation need balloting to get a vacancy too.

Primary 1 registration can be a tears and sweat inducing exercise. Sweat when you have to put in 44 hours of volunteer work, doing things like acting as traffic warden and then the tears come, when despite doing so much extra work, you may not get the 1 vacancy you need.
On my husband side of the family, we have a cousin (not filthy rich) who recently spent all his money on a 30 year old property which cost SGD1.9 million, just to increase his chances of getting his children into one of the most talked about school in the country. Poor chap spent all his cash and had to take multiple loans to finance his new house renovations and furnishings. Even the TV was bought on loan.

So anyway, to cut the story short, this is the year where we have to play victim to the system.
We didn't do any volunteer work, nor join any alumni (not without trying. Pei Hwa does not have an alumni) so all we can do is to keep our fingers and toes crossed and hope J gets into my primary school. Will not hurt to pray!

Pei Hwa..we are coming for you!

We checked out the sharks and dolphins!

Little chap got lucky and took a day off school to check out the sharks and dolphins at the new (okay..not so new anymore) Aquarium at Sentosa.

 Baby Sharks!

 Giant Fish!

Jarrett, My Son

The hubby screwed up my layout and has been banished to his own blog land.
He can be found here: Jarrett, My Son

So family and friends, all weird posts here are wholly mine and all there ( Jarrett, My Son ) totally his. =P

So the daddy has spoken

J's daddy has spoken. He said "mama, maybe you can start to write your blog again"

Apparently, WX shares the same thoughts that many lovely memories get lost along the way...but he doesn't understand that there are so many things to do in a day that writing here often gets forgotten. So he came up with a brilliant idea. He is going to write too.

So from here on, if you see a weird entry with different style of writing, you know it's not me, and it's not spam. It's J's Daddy.

I love you lots?

On the way home from a wedding dinner .
Time: 11:30PM
J was exhausted and trying not to nod off in the car.

Me: J, you can sleep in the car if you want to. Papa can carry you home.
J: Really? I can sleep?
Me: Yes. Come, find a comfy spot and try to sleep

J snuggled up to me, and wrapped his arms around my waist (from my right).
Awww....heart melting, so sweet of him to want to hug me to sleep.
The next morning. Me with a happily melted heart asked:

Me: J...why did you want to hug me when you were trying to sleep in the car??
(Grining like mad)
J: Hur? Oh......hee......................

Feeling a little suspicious...
Me: You did so becos you love me or???

J: My bloster wasn't around.

Splat!

Andy & Nicholl's Wedding, 19 Jan 2013

Hiatus

It's time.
It striked me the other day, that by taking a long hiatus from recording J's journet, I am actually losing precious memories of him.
Lots of funny, hair pulling incidents had happened since my last entry, and I am sad to admit that I might have forgotten many of them.
So I'm back, recording J's little growing steps. I want to leave him lots of memories and things which we can reminisce when the hour is late.

Smoking hot

J was playing with his cars and trucks in the living room. He picked out a white truck and said to me:

J: Mama, this is for you!
Me: No..I want a hot car.

Looking at his toy cars, he picked out a red model with flames printed on the side.

J: Mama, this one is very hot! See got smoke!

Mooncakes

J's teacher left a note last Friday to remind me to pack a lunchbox on Monday (Mooncake Festival) so that J could bring his self-made mooncake home.

So on Monday morning, I spent some time nagging him to bring back the mooncake so we could see what he's doing in school.

At 5.30pm, the little one called.

J: Mama, can I watch DVD?
Me: Ok. Did you bring home the mooncake?
J: HUH? What mooncake?
Me: The mooncake you made in school today.
J: No...NO Mooncake!
Me: But Tr. Catrina said you would be making mooncakes in school today.
J: Oh.......that mooncake. We had a party in school today, Mama, and I ate it!
Me: WHAT? But I told you to bring home and show me. I just want to see what you have done.
J: Oh Mama, it was so ugly, so I had to eat it.
Me: ..................................

J's first movie

For the first time, in 3.5yrs, J was treated to his first movie. Sure, he has watched stuff on TV, like Ice Age etc, but never at the cinema. The little kiddo was so hyped up about the whole thing. He "invited" the whole family and even his "gf" from school, though we only had 3 tickets. It was quite adorable to see how excited he was.

The days before the movie treat, he did (almost) everything we told him to do. He brushed his teeth with no fuss, drank his water when asked, he was practically a little angel, all because he wanted to see PANDA!

On the "big" day, we picked him up at 5 from school, had an early dinner and found our way to Suntec Eng Wah to collect our complimentary tickets (from our very nice financial advisor), got the pop corns and got seated. Figured out we should get him settled down first. The little guy was munching quite happily on his popcorns while waiting for the movie to start.

10 mins into the show:

J: I am not ok. I am not ok at all.

Mama & Papa: Why? What's wrong?

J: Why are all the lights turned off? Why is it so loud? I don't like it (pouts)

Mama & Papa: Errm...but it's like this in the cinema. You'll get used to it. Shh....don't disturb others ok?

5mins later:

J: I don't like it. It's too loud.

Mama: Eat ur popcorn.

half way into the show, with no more popcorns.

J: I want to go home now.

the scene where panda's Mama got killed:

J: ah.........(brawls) sob sob...........I WANT TO GO HOME

Papa & Mama: WHY?

J: Cos Panda lost his mama....sob..sob...sob...sob...

Papa: Ermm..why don't you close ur eyes and sleep.

J: OK! (snuggled up in Papa's arms)

So it wasn't so great, the experience. J didn't enjoy the movie, hated how loud it was in the cinema and got really upset with how Panda lost his real parents (he had a nightmare that nite). I guess there will not be any movie treat any time soon. LOL

It's all really crappy

The past few weeks have been really, crappy. Seriously depressing.

The result of too much WordWorld

Taking a walk up Bukit Timah Hill. J: Look Mama! Big spiderweb! All of us walking nearer and J crouching down for a closer look. J: Why is there no "W. E. B" on the web?? LOL Well, at least the little one's getting his spelling right

It's been a while....

So it's been a while....and as the saying goes, time heals all. Well, at least we feel normal and life goes on. I still hate it when someone tells us to try again. Don't, ok?

Baby J

Baby J was a brief chapter in our life. Too brief and gone so soon. Only a little bit more than 7 weeks old. Too small for anyone to know if we had a boy or girl.

Baby J wasn't exactly planned. According to my calender, he wasn't supposed to happen, but happened he did. It took me a while to accept it. I wasn't prepared for another baby. I wasn't prepared for 9 months of pregnancy, 2 years of insufficient sleep and 1.5 yrs of breastfeeding. But I looked at Jarrett and knew if Baby J was a gift from God, then surely, Jarrett deserved this more than anyone else. He should have a playmate. So after many days of procrastination, I accepted that I was going to be a mother again.

I did the SOP, visited my OB, took my multivits, and did a blood test to confirm my pregnancy. The doc called on the 2nd day with the good news but ended it with a warning - Ectopic Pregnancy.
Apparently my hormones level was way low for a pregnant mum. But I didn't paid much heed to it, thinking it's just my KS doc on paranoia.

Week 6, days before our family holiday to Phuket, that's usually when a baby heartbeat can be seen and heard. But there was nothing on Baby J. Doc couldn't find any sign of the baby. I was sent to do another more detailed scan. Again, no sign of anything after close to 45mins of probing. The radiologist was called in and finally a sac was detected. After a few questions, like "any bleeding? any pain?" and much frowning, I was a nervous wreak.

My doc later explained that the presence of a sac did not rule out the possibility of ectopic pregnancy, sometimes it acts like a decoy. Especially so in my case as they couldn't detect any heartbeat and the size of the sac was too small. Another possibility could be a missed abortion or a threaten miscarriage. Either way, the doc was against the idea of a holiday. He didn't want me to go for fear of a rapture or a miscarriage with excessive bleeding. Ordered to have bed rest and do nothing else. Took me some time to convince everyone that I was okay and fit to go and that a trip would serve me better than staying alone at home with my thoughts running wild. On a rational side, I knew it would have been wiser to stay home, with medical help close by, but knowing how restless I am, I knew I would go crazy at home and probably gone all depressed.
Doc reluctantly agreed but I was not allowed to go out of the resort and prescribed lots of bed rest.

The resort was lovely, albeit some screw ups. I spent many hours looking out of the windows in my room.

Beautiful scenery but I kept thinking of the poor little babe and felt so depressed at one point, feeling like I was just lying down, waiting for my baby to leave. Somewhere along the way, maternal instincts had kicked in and so did a woman's instinct. And somewhere inside of me, I knew that my time with this baby was coming to an end. Some of the symptoms of the pregnancy had stopped, though I was still so exhausted and lethargic all the time. Spotting again in fresh red with cramps, nothing looked good. I thought I had to take an emergency flight home, but I managed to make it home safely as scheduled.

Week 7, day 3. Another detailed scan. Sac has not grown any bigger and still no heartbeat. Doc was all grim face when he delivered the news. Things looked quite final as he said a week ago that if by the end of another week there was still no sign of growth or life, then this baby was destined to go. Doc offered to wait another few days but from his expression and explanation, it seem quite pointless. It broke my heart, it really did when we made the decision to go ahead with the surgery. I felt guilty, like I was giving up on my own child and it broke my heart to send him/her off without a proper baptism.

I once read a book "Heaven is so real", by a Korean-American who was offered a glimpse of heaven. In it, she wrote that she saw a huge room full of babies and she asked God "Why are there so many babies?" "These are babies of mothers who did not want them. I will keep their babies!" the Lord answered.

I did not want Baby J to end up in this room. I wanted him to know that however brief our time was, he/she was loved by us. I spent some time in the morning before surgery in prayer, asking God to take my child in His hands and also His forgiveness for the anger I felt. My doc kindly offered to say a prayer for Baby J as well.

On the morning of 2nd Oct 2010, our journey with Baby J came to an end. It was a simple procedure and took less than 30mins. The nurses and docs were all very kind and sympathetic. It was a painful experience. Even thou Baby J wasn't planned, it was still so painful to let go. I was shown the "product" when I woke up in the recovery room and I managed to say a short little prayer as I held on to the little plastic bottle. It was whisked off to the lab before I could say another word.

A friend said things like this will change a person forever. Maybe he is right.

~ Baby Jae Ng ~

Sent to Heaven with lots of love from

Papa, Mama & Gor Gor Jarrett.

2 October 2010

Quotations from Heaven Is So Real by Choo Thomas.

Very.....happening week

I turned on the laptop, expecting to write a post or 2 about what happened this week but nothing came out sounding right, so I had to delete everything.............away.
So instead of a really nice write up, this is the summary:

1) Started the week feeling really excited cos there was a hot party planned on Friday, for 2 of my closest gfs who are getting married soon. I was supposed to be a mamasan!
2) Dreading the 1st 4 days of the week, cos of cashier duty at the co's warehouse sales.
3) Turned out, only 2.5 days of duty.
4) Because......after years of no fever, I suddenly had a really high 38.9 burning fever, which lasted for 2 freaking days.
5) On the day of the party, still with a tiny hope that I could recover in time, I visted the doctor for an A-OK.
6) Doc took one look at me and said "Sorry girl, no hens' nite, u've got the HMFD" !!???!!!!????!!! Helllo.......I'm like ancient, do pple like me end up with HMFD?
7) Went home sulking though I have 10 days MC and realised this also means 10 days with no Jarrett since I have to be quarantine. damn!
8) Was shown live pictures on facebook about the party. (feeling real great while I sat in my pyjamas, scratching my hands)
9) Realised I could be pregnant!!!???!!! after ingesting all the meds and high fever.

What a bloody week!

my ABC

Jarrett reciting his ABC....

J: A for Ant
J: B for Banana
WX & I: Good job Jarrett!!
J:C for Crocodile
Wx & I: (thinking wow..so smart, used to be A for Apple, B for Boy, C for Cat)
J:D for Dick

WX & Me: Err................................
We swear we are always very careful of what we say when we are around J, no idea where he pick this up from.

Meet the Parents' Day

We attended our 2nd Meet the Parents' Day at J's school on Thurs. Seems like the little one has been doing very well in most aspects. We are very pleased with his progress thus far and the teachers seem very impressed with his development too. So it was a happy meeting, everyone was all smiles. Us smiling like idiots with so....much pride, and the teachers no doubt smiling with pride too, pleased with their nurturing skills. Haa...

In the report we were given:
1) J is the only one who can write in class, despite the fact that he's the youngest.
Awww.....we are so...........proud.
2) J's in the advanced stage of reading. Only 3 children in the class can read, as in they can recognize words and read books by themselves. Most of the other children requires much more assistance. The other 2 boys are the oldest in the group. So J's reading skill is really not too bad.
3) J is very bossy. He likes to hang out with the girls and boss them around. According to the teachers, it's quite likely bcos he's the youngest boy and the older boys will talk back to him when he gives his orders. So he has learnt to hang out with those who will listen and look up to him. (Hahahahaa.....)
4) Loves to eat......he is quite possibly, the easiest kid to feed in school.
5) Very impatient with his food.
6) Loves his Speech & Drama class, and is showing quite abit of potential. His form teacher has taken a video clip of him for a commercial audition.
7) Very helpful, to the point of pissing off his friends. There was once where they were all asked to bring their favourite fruits to school. J named most of the fruits before the children can do their "presentations". One of the girls got so upset that she burst into tears...oooppsss..
8) Listen and follow instructions very well. ( I think this special skill is reserved for school. We usually have a hard........time screaming at him to follow our instructions. )
9) Can do his work very well without much supervision. He usually finishes his work much faster than the other children and........end up doing his friends' worksheets.
10) Knows how to pacify his teachers when they are upset with him. He'll strike his signature pose (fingers pointed at his cheeks with a wide smile) or he'll start singing and dancing. The principal said she just can't stay angry with J for long.
11) Gets along very well with all the children. He has quite a few good friends among the older children. Some of them takes good care of him.

So it's been a fruitful 9 months. J has learnt much and seems to be well loved.
We'll post some of the pics the teachers have given us soon.

to the doc

Mama: Jarrett, mama's not feeling well.
J: Mama go see Dr. Yap
Mama: Can you bring me to see Dr. Yap?
J: Ok. I drive the car.

Hee...har......my little cowboy