I'm a bad mummy. I did the unthinkable yesterday. I hit my baby "wail.....................". In case you are thinking, no..i didn't bash him against the wall or kick him in the head...it was a tap on his hand but I am dying from shame and eaten by guilt ever since. How could I hit my precious little meatball??? I am a monster!!! The father has been shaking his head at me which adds on to my guilt.
What made me snapped was exhaustion. I have been trying to be a supermom, and boy, it's not easy. Having to juggle a career with motherhood and being a wife is no joke. After a long day in the office, I return home each day, eager to spend some time with my son, but along the way, there are endless chores to be done. There were a few times where I felt like I was going to black out. I know I should take it easy and probably leave the baby with my in laws who are all too eager to take up the duty of babysitting overnite but I want to spend time with my baby too. 24hrs are no longer enough, I feel like I am racing against time and at times I feel like my heart is going to pop out from my chest as I run from one place to the next. I even feel like sleeping when I am behind the wheels.
So on Sunday when the little one just wouldn't calm down and stopped crying, coupled with my super duper low tolerance level whenever I am very tired, I snapped and hit him on his hand. I am not feeling very proud now. Exhaustion is not an excuse. Mummy's sorry Baby Jarrett.
I now understand the saying "when a parent beats a child, it's the parent who will hurt more".
4 comments:
haiyoh. guilty no more man. the blood of Christ has removed u from all guilt!:D
every1 makes mistakes. so at least u learnt smth now eh ;) and u'll have better control in future!
Hey dearie,
You know, I get totally burned out everyday just going about my own business, while you still have a child to care for after work! Motherhood is a courageous undertaking, and you and Zhen are greatly admired by me. Hugs. --Jean
Hey Girl,
dont be so hard on yourself - parenting is not easy and we lose our tempers on and off!
Totally understand how you feel on the exhausation part!! Plus you are on total breast-feeding - that is totally not easy. so give yourself a pad on the back, my dear friend!
ya..the little one seem to have forgotten abt mummy's wickedness. All's well =) but still tried..
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